The add in the magazine continued to draw my attention, month after month. Each month I would dismiss it...until I couldn't anymore. I acted...pages and pages of paperwork...appointments and tests followed.
It was a fall afternoon as I was walking across campus, just before my 44th birthday. The wind was blowing, and the colors were popping, oranges, yellows and reds.
"Your pregnant! " she squealed!. "I wish I was there to hug you and kiss you and squeeze you right now!". The excitement in her voice was contagious.. My heart jumped...I was thrilled....we actually did it, I am pregnant.
The ultrasound tech announced," there are two embryos!"...Twins...wow...
9 months, growing belly, swollen feet, saltines, breathlessness. The gift of life to a couple who could not do it on thier own.
People would ask "Isn't it going to be hard to give them up?"
I would say. "Of course not, they are not mine. I am just the oven doing the baking...a temporary apartment"
Empty space inside, broken heart, crying spells...the sadness hung on my heart, like a lonely and empty swing that was waiting patiently for a child.
I couldn't get it. How could my birth mother have done it? Given me away like that...or is that just it? Was I given life, so thar I could give life in return?
All of our experiences shape us. The people we meet, the decisions we make, the decisions that are made for us...our failures and successes, our hopes and dreams. I am grateful for all of it, even when it hurts...
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