1. Pick out a piece of clothing
2. Try it on
3. Look in Mirror
4. Listen to my Mini-Me speak up..."that makes you look fat, you look disgusting, no way should you wear that."
5. I rip the piece of clothing off and fling it across the room into a heap of clothes on the floor...
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ENTER BODY AA...
Years and years of my life went by very similar to this. It was only over the last few years that I began the journey to Body Acceptance....and the first step for me was Body Appreciation.
Thus the term Body AA...Too much of my life has been spent hating my body. I was tired, worn out and burned out from the constant battle inside my head. Eat this, don't eat that...wear this, don't wear that, work out this way, not that way...UGGGG.
Recently I was asked to respond to some questions about the term Body Neutrality. A term that Green Mountain at Fox Run, where I had been working as a Program Director, has been using for years. Here is a sneak peak at the interview I had with Emilie Cuisinier, a French writer for the Huffington Post.
*Where does the expression body neutrality come from ?
I first heard the term at Green Mountain at Fox Run. They came up with the term body neutrality when they realized there was a disconnect from the term body positivity within the participants who were immersed in the program. They (participants) would land at Green Mountain with a great deal of hatred and dislike of their bodies, and to find positivity there was a real stretch. By utilizing the term Body Neutrality, participants found a way to move away from the body hatred side of the “line” and towards the middle, where they were able to connect with feeling neutral with their bodies.
*Can you explain this concept in one or two sentences ?
Body Neutrality is a space where one does not find themselves feeling either body hatred or body love. It is a space where one learns to begin to respect and honor their body for what it can do and where it is right now.
*What’s is the difference between body neutrality and body positivity ?
The hatred that women feel with their bodies comes from their negative self-talk and their beliefs that their body does not look like society presses that it should. And when women try to think positively about their bodies, when they do not feel that way, it contributes to the dislike of themselves…
Body Neutrality is a space that might not be positive. It might be neutral. Such as, a body positive woman might say
“My legs look great in these jeans” or “My body is amazing” whereas someone who is working within Body Neutrality might say “My legs help me walk down the street” or “My body allows me to hug my daughter”
Body neutrality can be a pausing place on the way towards body positivity. Because the body positive statements do not feel genuine or authentic to the person saying them…YET…
*During your retreats, do you suggest some kind of mantra to women ? If yes, could you quote some of those mantras ?
We move through an exercise of what the body CAN do…so “My body can” statements…and appreciation statements.
My body is capable
This is me
I appreciate the freedom my body gives me, because it can walk
My body is mine
My body is my home, it is where I live
My body is the vehicle I travel through this life in
*Although each woman/person is unique, which advice(s) do you always give to people that come to you ?
I encourage people to look at themselves with a different perspective. Many women feel like all of their self worth is wrapped up in the way their body appears to others. I try to shed light onto the many other facets of a unique individual. Because, you are right, we are all different. So what special and unique gifts, talents, likes, dislikes, and traits make up who you are. It is a discovery of what makes them “them”. Move them into finding their authenticity.
*How/why meditation and mindfulness can help women in their body acceptance work ?
Meditation: There are some great meditations that focus on the body, on gratefulness of the body, of appreciation of the body, of noticing the body, of kindness and compassion of self. These help women hear the words over and over again, thus decreasing resistance they may have towards liking and accepting their bodies…
Mindfulness: Noticing when the inner critical voice comes up to make negative statements of the body is the first step in beginning to change the language that a person uses with themselves. This negative voice can come up by stepping on a scale, looking in a mirror, trying on clothes, or maybe a comment from someone else. Mindfulness can step in and help change the conversation in the brain, by using some of the appreciation statements from above.
*Do you think Body Neutrality can reach a broader audience?
Absolutely. For many understanding that they can just start to be a little nicer to themselves by creating some neutral statements, that feel authentic and real to the person saying them can begin a journey to healing. Taking away the pressures to conform to the societal pressures of loving yourself can be empowering. To develop some confidence in a woman by helping them see the what their bodies are capable of, to help them understand that their worth is not all wrapped up in this vessel we call the body.
The goal is to have women begin to see that they are so much more than their bodies. That their bodies are their vehicles that they live their lives in. Their bodies can help them create memories and have experiences. It can provide independence and freedom of movement.
AND that they have so much more to give to the word…when they slowly start to decrease their self-hatred, and move towards appreciation and acceptance of self.
For many, this journey starts with one step…by saying to themselves, my body carried me up these stairs, or my body was strong enough to pick up my daughter and carry her to bed. That is where appreciation of body can start.
