How to FEEL GOOD in Your Body

How often do you have a negative thought about your body?  

Is it first thing in the morning when you look in the mirror?  Stare at the clothes in your closet?  Step on the Scale?

It is no wonder that 97% of women have an “I hate my body” moment every single day…we have programmed ourselves!

We have, on average about 50,000 thoughts every single day, and research tells us that of these 50,000 thoughts, about 80% of them are negative!  AND on top of that as much as 90% of those are repeated day after day after day!  

So, with this knowledge, it is worth thinking about what it is you say to yourself about your body.  

Pause for a moment and think...What do you say to yourself when you first look in the mirror every morning?  

Is it easy to find a flaw with it right away?  Do you automatically bring judgment to the way you look first? 

Or, do you smile, say hello and take a moment to be grateful to have another day to experience this life and make more memories?

1 ONE of the quickest ways to begin to feel good in your body is to start every day being grateful for one thing about your body. It could be…

·      The unique color of your eyes

·      The strength of your legs

·      Your manicured fingernails

·      Your ability to hear the rain on the roof

·      The smoothness of your skin

·      The shape of your eyebrows

Anything counts here.  This can feel a little awkward at first, due to the fact that women are programmed not to look kindly towards themselves or their bodies in fear that others will think they are arrogant or narcissistic.

BUT, by starting the day noticing something that you like, or something you are grateful for about yourself, you set yourself up for noticing more beauty throughout the day ahead.  Just as if you started your day judging yourself, feeling shame, anger or frustration with your body, you set yourself up to be more judgmental of others as the day progresses.

Why not be a rebel! Begin your day by noticing the wonder of your body and all that it can do: hug, walk, watch a sunrise, listen to music, taste a piece of chocolate, sit in a Adirondack chair, stand to admire a piece of artwork, pick something up off the floor, swing on a swing or swim in the water.

By moving the focus away from what you cannot do and towards what you can do makes a big difference in the way you feel all day.  

2. Another way to feel good in your body is to wear clothes that fit and feel good on your body! 

So many women I know wake up every morning and stare into a closet of clothes that don’t fit, and from there they begin to go into an internal negative dialogue with themselves.  Feeling ashamed that they don’t look like they “should”, angry that they ate that second piece of pizza or didn’t get to the gym, frustrated that those pants from 5 years ago don’t fit anymore. 

I encourage you to clean out your closet and fill it with clothes that you feel good in, colors, fabrics and sizes that allow you to move and breathe. 

You have the ability to choose to start every morning looking at a closet of clothes that make you smile (setting you up to smile more during your day) VS looking at a closet day after day feeling bad about yourself, beating yourself up or even full of shame and hatred of yourself. 

·      You can box some clothes up, bring them to a consignment shop, put them out of site or give them to a shelter for someone else who may need them, to enjoy.

Wearing clothes that feel comfortable on your body is a great way to take care of yourself, an important self-care technique that can also help decrease stress and increase happiness.

3.  Lastly, another way to help you feel good in your body is to let go of all sources of comparison. 

Comparison of friends, family, social media feeds, cultural & societal norms and even younger versions of yourself.  

Here is how…

·      Unsubscribe to social media feeds that make you feel “less than” or not “good enough”

·      Find feeds that make you feel empowered and confident in how you look, check out Shaping Perspectives!

o   Shaping Perspectives...A Woman's Way to Joy

·      Notice when you begin to compare yourself to others...You are the only you.  Only you have your unique genetics.  Comparing yourself to another is like comparing apples to oranges

o   Start to appreciate your unique genetic type, tall, short, narrow hips, wide hips, voluptuous torso, thick thighs, small feet (you get the idea)

Research tells us that comparing yourself to others will decrease your own self-confidence, self-esteem, self-worth and overall body image. 

Feeling comfortable and appreciating the body that you have today can decrease stress, increase joy and will lead to a life full of more confidence and happiness

Perfectly Imperfect

I am lying in bed trying to sleep, I hear the faucet dripping...perfectly rhythmical.  I should get up and turn it off, I think. Then I let the thought pass over me, like a cloud.  The sound is soothing and calming...I drift back to sleep.

I have found myself letting my thoughts drift over me more and more.  Finally understanding that my thought is not me, I have detached.  I have the power to let it go, hurry it along if I need to. 

Stress has been pushing at me over the last few months, it is a season in my life where there is a lot to do, and a lot to be done.  When this season appears I find myself reverting back to my own 4 basic needs...not the ones we all think about: food, water, air and shelter, but my own personal ones: Exercise, Chocolate Chip Cookies, Wine and Diet Coke.

Here is a look at my first "thought"

Wow, that is really bad, I can't believe that you are eating cookies for breakfast.  How can you talk about health and eat like that...Your really bad...

I let the thought pass over me, this thought does not define me.

It is like when you really want a bag of chips.  You say to yourself(your thought) "You can't have chips, they are bad for you, they have too many calories, they will make you fat"  You listen...you go to the refrigerator and eat some carrot sticks, then some yogurt, then a piece of cheese, then an apple.   None of these things satisfy the initial craving....SO...You end up with the chips anyway.  Why not listen in the first place to our need?

I have come to realize that my 4 basic needs are far from perfect.  I do not live on only them, yet they have all been a comfort to me at some time in my life, I felt that needed them.  It was what calmed me.  My stress leads me back to these basic needs of mine.  I am not perfect.

NOW...I can realize and understand that I am ok.  I am perfectly imperfect.  Finding some calm and peace in times of stress can be like the dripping faucet.  Over the long term we would need to either have the faucet fixed, or be more aware of it and turn it off.

When I am stressed, I need to be more aware of what is happening to me, more aware of how I eat, how I move, how I act and how I rest.  I also need to reach out for help.  As the faucet needs a plumber, I may need a friend, a coach, a therapist, a family member or a doctor.  I may need a journal, my crayons, my music, a walk in nature or some silence.

And yes, sometimes I need an hour in the gym, a glass of wine a diet coke or a couple cookies and that can be just perfect.  

Letting go of my own judgements, finding peace and balance in being perfectly imperfect...

Releasing Regrets

Knee replacement was Monday.  As I sit here with my leg in a movement machine designed to help increase my range of motion, I start to regret my decision to start running...then my brain goes into hyperdrive and I begin to regret other decisions I have made in my life.   STOP

Regret is not helpful for me...or any of us.

It keeps us trapped in the past, keeps us thinking about how things could be different "IF ONLY"

I challenge myself, and you as well to embrace our IF ONLY'S.... Our regrets are an important part of us.  Our lessons learned, knowledge gained, and experiences had , and even treasured.

Let's take a look inside my brain...PROCEED WITH CAUTION!

What if I hadn't started running? I actually always hated running, I only did it cause I had to for sports. Yet in late 2009 with my marriage on the rocks, I started to head out for runs to clear my head.  I knew it was not good for my knee, I could feel every step, yet that was secondary compared to the release and relief it gave the rest of me...mind, body, spirit and soul.  For maybe the first time, I was actually enjoying spending time with myself.

I was a "closet runner" for about a year...no one knew I ran, I was out the door at 4 am most days of the week.

I "came out" as a runner after I entered my first race, a half marathon (not a5 or 10K like most people would start with!). I got in touch with an old friend and co-worker who was a distance runner to ask for advice...and to see if she would want to pace me.  It would be a great opportunity to catch up.  Cyndi agreed with enthusiasm.  The race was more enjoyable than I could have imagined...the energy, adrenaline,excitement and the friendship.

After that race, and over the next year and a half, I have made some of the best friends of my life. I have heard engaging stories, learned, listened and laughed.  It is amazing where conversations can go during a 16 mile run.

As I look at the long painful road of recovery ahead of me, I am willing to release any regrets I have for what I have done in my life, because it is through the tough and trying times that we become the people we were born to be.

If you find yourself in a place of regret...an "If only" moment.  STOP! take a look from at it from a different angle and see what you gained, the learned experiences, from that regret and release it, knowing that you are stronger  and better because of it.