My Lifesaver...

I met Karen over 10 years ago, when she came walking into the gym carrying her 9 month old son in a carrier in one arm, and a large diaper bag in the other.  As she put them both down she sighed, looked at me with those tired new mother eyes, and asked me to help her.  She was exhausted...had a toddler at home and 9 month old Jack. She had a spirit that was buried inside, probably trying to get some sleep...I could see that.  I liked her instantly.

It wasn't long before our relationship was no longer just trainer and trainee, it was blossoming into a wonderful friendship.  The hour long sessions would pass by quickly(at least for me) as we shared stories about our lives. We began taking shopping trips together, sharing cups of coffee or glasses of wine, and enjoyed outings with our kids.  It was within this time that my life slowly began to unravel.  Karen was my lifesaver, she threw me a rope of hope to cling to as I began to fall deeper and deeper into a hole.

She was there anytime and every time I needed anything...She would give the shirt off her back in a snowstorm if I or anyone else she cared about needed it. Her heart was and IS bigger than anyone I have ever known.

As I think about this particular friend, my heart breaks open in gratitude.  She was always there for me when I was unavailable for myself..  As I fell deeper and deeper into that hole, she was there to hang out with me, listen, support and eventually throw me a rope to help me climb back up out of the hole back into my life.

Karen, I finally get the opportunity to say thank you for always being there for me.  For never pushing me, for never judging me, never questioning me or my actions.  You have seen me at my worst and still loved me, continued to listened, cared, offered advice and helped in ways that I never would have thought possible.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart and the bottom of the hole I was in, for your unconditional love and friendship. I am eternally grateful you needed a trainer all those years ago and I was the one who happened to be in the office.

I look forward to seeing our friendship move forward as our families continue to grow older (since we are both stuck in the 80's somewhere) and life takes us wherever it takes us, please know I have a very big bucket that is full of love, care and support for you...and thank you for throwing me a rope...

The Lucky One

I am the lucky one.  Blessed with 2 distinctly different daughters.  They are unique in their talents...they are smart, funny, sensitive and caring. 

I am not sure what I was thinking when I said I wanted to write about them.  I could use this blog to brag on them, embarrass them, reminisce and get all wishy washy, but I won't...

They are now 20 and 22.  I am not sure how...feels like just yesterday they were heading off to kindergarten.  Funny, our parents said the same thing to us when we FINALLY were old enough to head off on our own...

I loved being pregnant, I loved rocking them as babies and getting up in the middle of the night to sooth a bad dream.  When they turned 3 and 4, I was running ragged...tired with a never ending list of "to do's"  I thought these were some of the toughest years.  UNTIL, one had her heart broken.  That brought about a whole new level of hard.  

Interesting the level of pain you can feel in the presence of the pain of another.  The love of a child is like no other.  It feels like it morphs, flows and changes...but I am not so sure. 

I want to say thank you to my girls for not giving up on me and loving me despite my mistakes.  Looking back I would have done some things differently.  Yet, I know that I did the best that I could with what I knew.  I continue to learn and grow as a parent and I continue to do the best that I can...

I want them to know how much I love them, how proud I am of them both.  That I will be there for them when they need me, will love them unconditionally, will cheer loud for them, and cry hard with them...as many times as they need.

And...Yes Ashley and Alyssa, I now would have let you play in the "clean garbage cans" out front...

I am the lucky one...blessed to be a mom...