How to FEEL GOOD in Your Body

How often do you have a negative thought about your body?  

Is it first thing in the morning when you look in the mirror?  Stare at the clothes in your closet?  Step on the Scale?

It is no wonder that 97% of women have an “I hate my body” moment every single day…we have programmed ourselves!

We have, on average about 50,000 thoughts every single day, and research tells us that of these 50,000 thoughts, about 80% of them are negative!  AND on top of that as much as 90% of those are repeated day after day after day!  

So, with this knowledge, it is worth thinking about what it is you say to yourself about your body.  

Pause for a moment and think...What do you say to yourself when you first look in the mirror every morning?  

Is it easy to find a flaw with it right away?  Do you automatically bring judgment to the way you look first? 

Or, do you smile, say hello and take a moment to be grateful to have another day to experience this life and make more memories?

1 ONE of the quickest ways to begin to feel good in your body is to start every day being grateful for one thing about your body. It could be…

·      The unique color of your eyes

·      The strength of your legs

·      Your manicured fingernails

·      Your ability to hear the rain on the roof

·      The smoothness of your skin

·      The shape of your eyebrows

Anything counts here.  This can feel a little awkward at first, due to the fact that women are programmed not to look kindly towards themselves or their bodies in fear that others will think they are arrogant or narcissistic.

BUT, by starting the day noticing something that you like, or something you are grateful for about yourself, you set yourself up for noticing more beauty throughout the day ahead.  Just as if you started your day judging yourself, feeling shame, anger or frustration with your body, you set yourself up to be more judgmental of others as the day progresses.

Why not be a rebel! Begin your day by noticing the wonder of your body and all that it can do: hug, walk, watch a sunrise, listen to music, taste a piece of chocolate, sit in a Adirondack chair, stand to admire a piece of artwork, pick something up off the floor, swing on a swing or swim in the water.

By moving the focus away from what you cannot do and towards what you can do makes a big difference in the way you feel all day.  

2. Another way to feel good in your body is to wear clothes that fit and feel good on your body! 

So many women I know wake up every morning and stare into a closet of clothes that don’t fit, and from there they begin to go into an internal negative dialogue with themselves.  Feeling ashamed that they don’t look like they “should”, angry that they ate that second piece of pizza or didn’t get to the gym, frustrated that those pants from 5 years ago don’t fit anymore. 

I encourage you to clean out your closet and fill it with clothes that you feel good in, colors, fabrics and sizes that allow you to move and breathe. 

You have the ability to choose to start every morning looking at a closet of clothes that make you smile (setting you up to smile more during your day) VS looking at a closet day after day feeling bad about yourself, beating yourself up or even full of shame and hatred of yourself. 

·      You can box some clothes up, bring them to a consignment shop, put them out of site or give them to a shelter for someone else who may need them, to enjoy.

Wearing clothes that feel comfortable on your body is a great way to take care of yourself, an important self-care technique that can also help decrease stress and increase happiness.

3.  Lastly, another way to help you feel good in your body is to let go of all sources of comparison. 

Comparison of friends, family, social media feeds, cultural & societal norms and even younger versions of yourself.  

Here is how…

·      Unsubscribe to social media feeds that make you feel “less than” or not “good enough”

·      Find feeds that make you feel empowered and confident in how you look, check out Shaping Perspectives!

o   Shaping Perspectives...A Woman's Way to Joy

·      Notice when you begin to compare yourself to others...You are the only you.  Only you have your unique genetics.  Comparing yourself to another is like comparing apples to oranges

o   Start to appreciate your unique genetic type, tall, short, narrow hips, wide hips, voluptuous torso, thick thighs, small feet (you get the idea)

Research tells us that comparing yourself to others will decrease your own self-confidence, self-esteem, self-worth and overall body image. 

Feeling comfortable and appreciating the body that you have today can decrease stress, increase joy and will lead to a life full of more confidence and happiness

Judge Foody (Not to be confused with Judge Judy)

"I cant believe I ate all that!"
"That was such a bad thing to eat!"
"I am going to have to stay at the gym all day because of that lunch!"

These are words I have said to myself and hear daily at work.  Our inner Judge scolding us, and letting us know how unworthy we are.  All because of our own perception and beliefs about what is Right or Wrong with the food we eat.

Good Foods/Bad Foods=Good Girl/Bad Girl

Exercise becomes punishment for a dessert shared with a friend, which should have been enjoyed and treasured moments in time...Not punishment.

Step on the scale, step off, move it to another spot, try again.  Today's mood dependent on what this hunk of metal says...

Food is not "Good" or "Bad"...as a matter of fact, I think the M&M people are very cute and entertaining...how could they be bad?

Life is too short to have the food Judge in my face any longer.  She has criticized my choices, dictated my actions, scolded and shamed me into depression, addiction and abuse.

Food is Fuel...It is needed to keep us going.  For us to keep our energy up and keep our brains and bodies working.  It is needed for us to make a difference with our work, enjoy a walk in nature, connect with friends, carry the groceries, rearrange furniture( a fun trait I get from my mom, that drives everyone else crazy!), write, read, stretch...

This life is full of so many wonderful things.  Why do we continue to let the Judge in our head ruin an otherwise perfectly good day by telling us we have made the wrong choice, or bullies you because the scale says something it doesn't like.

Throw away the scale, let the M&M people be your friends.  FIRE the JUDGE!  She has made enough money to retire very nicely...in an upscale retirement community in Florida.  I have paid her well throughout the years.  It is time for me to hire myself to be my own Judge.  One that treats me with respect and admiration.  One that does not criticize my choices for dinner, or guilt me into going to the gym...again...

My new Judge says "Eat for Energy, Exercise for Enjoyment"  

Its My DEAL

Oh good!  At least I like to shuffle the cards, the way they make that fluttering sound and watch the bridge I have formed between my two hands collapse upon itself.  I think this might be the only part of playing cards I truly like.  The rest of the time I am feeling sick to my stomach, my shoulders are tight, my brain is in overdrive...repeating the words...Think, Anne, Think...Dont make the wrong move...

I have decided now to DEAL myself another hand.  This one is quite different.  It is calming...and feels more like the sunrise with the pinks and oranges in the sky...a warm summer breeze, and the sound of the ocean.  I am embarking on an adventure to my inside, my truest self.  To Discover, Embrace, Accept and Love me...My own D.E.A.L.

The first card in my hand?  Deep Discovery.  To actually take some time with myself.  The searching and unfolding of what is on the inside.  I have recently posted a picture on facebook of me at about 5.  I am standing on the front steps of my grandparents house in Greenfield MA. I am ready to take on the world, my hands are on my hips and I have a confident grin on my face.  There is true happiness, self assurance, pride and even a little mischievesness too. This is the Annie I am in search of.

Discovery may take some time...it takes time to deal out the cards, make sure everyone has the right amount, square off the piles, fan out the cards in your hand.  Realizing that there are some cards in your hand that you dont really want.  The cards like...my mini me, my fear of failure, my fear of success, the judgement of myself, the comparison to others.  Thank goodness there are some cards in my hand that I love...my family and friends!

There it is, my hand is full of all of it.  All of its beauty.  Time to discard.  The first to go is the judgement of myself and comparison to others.  I place the cards down, let them go watching them slowly get buried deeper into the deck.  My hand picks up 2 cards: Laughter and Love,  this game may work out well after all...

Feeling a little more confident, I discard Fear...Fear of Failure, as well as Fear of Success.  The guilt, the shame, the feeling of not being enough, not being deserving...It will be a hard fight to let them go.  They have been such a part of me for so long.  I am letting them go in hopes to pick up some better cards...I close my eyes, give powerful thought and attention to the deck as I pick up my next cards

Acceptance, Belief and Compassion....Looks like we have a straight!   ABC.  I have a loaded hand...ready to Embrace  the real me.  The one I see in that picture that shows determination and pride. The one that fights sociey telling me I can or I can't, I should or I shouldn't.  Accepting my true self without letting all my old stories and beliefs beat me down and take me out of the game.

I am playing until the end...win or lose, it does not matter.  All I need to do is continue to deal the cards, because I know I am strong enough to win no matter what.  I will discard the cards that no longer serve me, and pick up the ones that do, the ones of self-growth, self-discovery, self-acceptance and self-Love.

We are all born with a full deck(well, mostly!)  They are part of us, these cards make us who we are, yet that does not mean we have to keep all the cards we are dealt with.  We have choices to stack the deck in our favor.  Who's deal is it now?

The Comparison Conflict

Why do we compare ourselves to others?  Do we truly want to be someone else?  Live in someone elses' body?  Have someone elses' thoughts? Someone elses' family?  Someone elses' problems or successes?

Families are not perfect, if we put everyones' problems on a table, we would probably take our own back...even successes come with consequences and compromises....

I used to compare myself with everyone.  I wanted those thighs, to be as strong as her, as fast as that one over there...Yup, spending 30-40 hours a week, for over 30 years in gyms and fitness centers  comparing myself to others.  Feeling like I could not measure up, feeling not good enough, not strong enough, not thin enough.  Treating my body poorly and talking negatively to myself numerous times a day, over and over again.

I DECLARE A TRUCE- peace in my heart, peace in my thighs.  This is the body I was given.  Thank you god, for giving me this strong, healthy body.

Society bombards us with perfect images...sexy, fit, airbrushed bodies in magazines...on billboards, on TV and in the movies.  You cannot escape it.  The exposure is daily, and endless...Barbie anyone?

It is time to accept the wonder and truth of our own bodies, our own thoughts, our own success and failures.  To love our thighs and our bellies.  To understand and accept that we are not supposed to be perfect-we are only supposed to be our best selves...give our best efforts.

NO ONE has my unique gene pool, no one has my experiences.  I am the only one who can play the lead in the story of me, just as you are the only one who can play the lead in the story of you.

Step into yourself, play hard as you.  Don't compare your hair with the woman standing in front of you at the supermarket, the butt of the woman on the treadmill next to you,  the number of push-ups the woman next to you is doing at boot-camp.  Be proud of what is yours, take ownership of it.

I am done comparing myself to others, done with the conflict that it stirs inside of me, the judgement of myself...the hatred.

Look at yourself in the mirror tonight, and list at least 10 things you love about yourself!

Here is my list: my smile, my laugh, my back, my strength, my dedication, I care about others, I am a good listener, my stamina, I like to give, I like to share...