A Letter to my Thighs...

I look at the mirror at my thighs. The mini-me inside my head begins her assault; “I hate you, you are so big, why aren’t you thinner? And these pants look horrible!” 

This harsh criticism and judgment is all too familiar.

I stop, pause and take a breath. In this moment I ask this question; what have my thighs ever done to me to cause me to hate them so much?  

They hear my question and respond:

Dear Annie,

That is a good question, why do you hate us so? All we have ever done for you is support you, yet you continue to treat us poorly, call us fat, pinch us and degrade us. We feel a punching bag, Brocken down and bruised.  We don’t understand.

We have loved being strong and stable for you. As a matter of fact over the years we have:

• Played on sports teams
• Carried 4 babies to term
• Climbed numerous trees and mountains
• Jumped lots of waves at the beach
• Ran, skipped and jumped across fields and parking lots
• Helped carry your mom when she broke her hip
• Shopped, cooked and cleaned for your family
• Stood and cheered for your daughters at their games, concerts and plays.

We have loved helping you live your life. 

We would appreciate it if you did not criticize us for what we look like. We always work hard for you and do our best. We want to be appreciated and accepted by you. Your respect is important to us. Can we please be friends?

We just wanted you to know,  

Your stable and grounded thighs

---------------

I am enlightened….

I have relied on this body to live my life. My thighs and my body that I’ve hated for so long, have done so much for me.

Does this sound familiar to you? Do you bash your body every chance you get? Join me in taking some steps to move from hating this body we were given to appreciating it.

It is time to begin to befriend our bodies, show it compassion and kindness… I’ve taken the first step by listening to my thighs.

7 Steps to Becoming Friends With Our Bodies

1. Write one thing that your body has done for you to begin to build this friendship.
2. Build this into a BODY ACCOMPLISHMENT LIST. List ALL of the things your body has done for you. This can include things like hugging a friend, sharing a smile or shivering to keep you warm.
3. Next write a list of what your body CAN do for you today. Place your attentions on the can do's instead of the can't do's. 
4. Pause, take a breath and become aware of your own judgments of yourself, when these thoughts come into your brain, begin to find some kindness with your words.
5. Be mindful of social comparisons and judgments...these will leave you feeling "not good enough"
6. After reflecting on all of the things your body does and can do for you, write a letter to your body or a specific body part that you dislike...AND then write a responds from your body (or body part)
7. Don't spend any more time playing the WHEN I....(lose the weight)...THEN I (will go on that trip) GAME.  Live your life today.  Don't wait any longer

I write an apology...

Dear Thighs,

I cannot believe how horribly I have treated you all these years, after all you have done and continue to do for me. You have enabled me to experience some of my greatest memories… winning a soccer championship, climb trees,  walking down the aisle at my wedding, and rocking my babies to sleep…

You have always grounded me, helped me up when I have fallen and stayed strong. I have hated you merely because you didn’t look a certain way. I am so very sorry. I now realize how much I have come to rely and depend on you to live my life, and I wanted to say thank you. Thank you for always being there for me, so strong, sturdy, dependable and sustainable. 

I appreciate you, and am looking forward to the years to come.  

With Gratitude,

Annie

What is your purpose?

"Why do you do what you do?"  she asked...

I took a deep breath...my eyes started to leak...

"Because I don't want other women to waste the time, energy, and their self respect, self-esteem and self confidence that I did" I say.  Over 40 years of dieting, depression, anxiety, addiction, and continued criticism of self...

This video is to remind me of why I do what I do.

How to Feel Comfortable in your own skin

9 C's to Feeling Comfortable in your own Skin

1.       Are you at war with your own body?
2.       Are you constantly comparing yourself to others or maybe to a version of your younger self?
3.       Do you judge or pick apart your body when you look at yourself in the mirror?
4.       Do you avoid doing things because you don’t want others to see you? 

If so, you are not alone.  Most women I have met throughout my life as a fitness professional and now as an Intuitive Eating coach have said yes to these questions...

I continue to see talented, engaging, smart, compassionate, funny, artistic, dedicated and passionate woman spend their day’s hating themselves when they find me.

Almost 100% of their thoughts every day are focused on things like…good foods and bad foods, what they have eaten or not eaten, what body part they hate, making excuses to go places, counting calories, looking up diets, thinking about their next eating episode, comparing themselves to others, how many calories they have burned, or not burned, how “bad” or “good” they have been, beating themselves up for their lack of “willpower” or the size of their thighs. 

These thoughts ride around and around on well-worn train tracks in their heads.

One of my first goals  is to help CREATE SPACE in their heads for more productive thoughts and activities, things like…

Singing, writing, creating, speaking, motivated, supporting, dancing, sharing, protesting, comforting, communicating, educating and more…

I want to help YOU start the journey to feeling comfortable in your own skin.  Guiding you to realize that you are so much more than a number on a scale or the size of your pants.  I want to encourage you to start appreciating and accepting your body.  

Here are 9 ways I support women JUST LIKE YOU find a path to take better care of yourself and it begins by believing that you are worth it.

-SELF-COMPASSION: Discovering, developing and strengthening a compassionate and kind inner voice that can validate pain, sooth suffering, ward off the mean inner voice and begin to befriend your whole self; body mind and spirit. 

-CHALLENGE you to question your current thoughts and beliefs with nonjudgmental CURIOSITY

o   Why do I think that way?
o   What made me feel that?
o   Why do I say that to myself?

-Give yourself permission to make CHOICES in regards to food, not based on any diet or on any set of rules. 

o   What to eat
o   When to eat
o   How much to eat

-Call upon COURAGE to make a CHANGE to your current thoughts and behaviors.  Our behaviors are linked to our current thoughts.  For example, when you step on a scale and a number pops up, what thoughts come up?  With those thoughts, what are the behaviors that follow?  Connecting the dots from the thought to the behavior creates a pause.  Within this pause change the thought. 

-Build CONFIDENCE through the COMPENTENCE of noticing the thoughts and pausing. By pausing we can question the thought, without judgment.  “Wow, I am such a failure, I might as well go to McDonalds, because it doesn’t matter anyway” to “Wow, that is interesting, why am I feeling like this? Why does a number on a scale provoke these feelings?   I know am doing the best I can right now.  Things have been hard.  I wonder what it is that I need?  Maybe I will take a walk” (take a bath, call a friend to vent, cry, journal etc) . Making a different decision will build more confidence, thus more competence, and so on….

  -Make CONNECTIONS with others who have had the same experiences, this creates validation and a realization that you are not alone.  Having someone to share thoughts and feelings with on your same journey can create a safe space to share.  We know that human connection has many benefits, decrease stress, anxiety, comparison and judgment, increase safety, OK-ness and a sense of well-being.

So when you are ready…

·         Start with some Self-Compassion
·         Be Curious
·         Make Choices
·         Challenge thoughts and Behaviors
·         Have Courage to create Change
·         Gain Confidence and Competence
·         Make Connections

Your body is your home, it is here within your own skin where you can find comfort, and contentment.   

Click here to check us out and grab your free YOU ARE ENOUGH Finally, Free, Fit and Fabulous 5 step guide to peace with food, eating, weight and body image.