How to Feel Comfortable in your own skin

9 C's to Feeling Comfortable in your own Skin

1.       Are you at war with your own body?
2.       Are you constantly comparing yourself to others or maybe to a version of your younger self?
3.       Do you judge or pick apart your body when you look at yourself in the mirror?
4.       Do you avoid doing things because you don’t want others to see you? 

If so, you are not alone.  Most women I have met throughout my life as a fitness professional and now as an Intuitive Eating coach have said yes to these questions...

I continue to see talented, engaging, smart, compassionate, funny, artistic, dedicated and passionate woman spend their day’s hating themselves when they find me.

Almost 100% of their thoughts every day are focused on things like…good foods and bad foods, what they have eaten or not eaten, what body part they hate, making excuses to go places, counting calories, looking up diets, thinking about their next eating episode, comparing themselves to others, how many calories they have burned, or not burned, how “bad” or “good” they have been, beating themselves up for their lack of “willpower” or the size of their thighs. 

These thoughts ride around and around on well-worn train tracks in their heads.

One of my first goals  is to help CREATE SPACE in their heads for more productive thoughts and activities, things like…

Singing, writing, creating, speaking, motivated, supporting, dancing, sharing, protesting, comforting, communicating, educating and more…

I want to help YOU start the journey to feeling comfortable in your own skin.  Guiding you to realize that you are so much more than a number on a scale or the size of your pants.  I want to encourage you to start appreciating and accepting your body.  

Here are 9 ways I support women JUST LIKE YOU find a path to take better care of yourself and it begins by believing that you are worth it.

-SELF-COMPASSION: Discovering, developing and strengthening a compassionate and kind inner voice that can validate pain, sooth suffering, ward off the mean inner voice and begin to befriend your whole self; body mind and spirit. 

-CHALLENGE you to question your current thoughts and beliefs with nonjudgmental CURIOSITY

o   Why do I think that way?
o   What made me feel that?
o   Why do I say that to myself?

-Give yourself permission to make CHOICES in regards to food, not based on any diet or on any set of rules. 

o   What to eat
o   When to eat
o   How much to eat

-Call upon COURAGE to make a CHANGE to your current thoughts and behaviors.  Our behaviors are linked to our current thoughts.  For example, when you step on a scale and a number pops up, what thoughts come up?  With those thoughts, what are the behaviors that follow?  Connecting the dots from the thought to the behavior creates a pause.  Within this pause change the thought. 

-Build CONFIDENCE through the COMPENTENCE of noticing the thoughts and pausing. By pausing we can question the thought, without judgment.  “Wow, I am such a failure, I might as well go to McDonalds, because it doesn’t matter anyway” to “Wow, that is interesting, why am I feeling like this? Why does a number on a scale provoke these feelings?   I know am doing the best I can right now.  Things have been hard.  I wonder what it is that I need?  Maybe I will take a walk” (take a bath, call a friend to vent, cry, journal etc) . Making a different decision will build more confidence, thus more competence, and so on….

  -Make CONNECTIONS with others who have had the same experiences, this creates validation and a realization that you are not alone.  Having someone to share thoughts and feelings with on your same journey can create a safe space to share.  We know that human connection has many benefits, decrease stress, anxiety, comparison and judgment, increase safety, OK-ness and a sense of well-being.

So when you are ready…

·         Start with some Self-Compassion
·         Be Curious
·         Make Choices
·         Challenge thoughts and Behaviors
·         Have Courage to create Change
·         Gain Confidence and Competence
·         Make Connections

Your body is your home, it is here within your own skin where you can find comfort, and contentment.   

Click here to check us out and grab your free YOU ARE ENOUGH Finally, Free, Fit and Fabulous 5 step guide to peace with food, eating, weight and body image. 

I am off to see the Wizard!

It felt like I was punched in the stomach.  I immediately felt a wave of nausea travel through me and land in my stomach.  My heart begins to beat hard and fast.  RUN, just RUN.  As far and as fast as your legs will take you. 

 I am a coward, I do not speak up.  Even at the cost of losing my soul, my spirit, my voice and my sense of self.  My self esteem being kicked...and plummeting lower day by day.  The sound of anger sends me deeper into myself, cowering in the corner of my heart.  Why don't I stand up?  Why cant I speak my mind? Why do I  have this overwhelming allergic, repulsive reaction to the sound of a raised voice?

I feel like the Cowardly Lion in the Wizard of OZ.  The outward appearance of strength, yet inward there is weakness, timid-ness and shame.  It is time to see the Wizard, my Wizard who is strong, confident and bold.  Take my trip down the Yellow Brick Road.  This road  that I know has places I need to pass and leave behind with my footsteps as distant memories that need to be forgiven and released.

I imagine a child releasing a balloon into the air, sad to watch it go and at the same time thrilled to see it travel higher and higher into the sky to a place wonderful and unknown.

This meandering yellow brick road I have to travel makes its way around a pond of pain, and moves through the forest of failures and over the mountains of mistakes.  I continue my journey through the many planted gardens of guilt and past the expansive sea of shame.

Finally  to make it to the home of the Wizard.  Who lives in the center of my heart, hidden behind a closed door.  It has been a long journey, and I will not turn back now.  I open the door to find  my own Maxine (My Maxi Me) standing strong and holding a bouquet of balloons.  She is my Wizard-ress patiently waiting to grant me my Courage.

 The courage to let go of all my balloons...It is with some anxiety and sadness that I let them go one by one, watching them drift slowly up and away.  Then, there is a sudden gust of wind and they all shoot off on different paths.  I smile at the sight, it looks like fireworks; bolts of colors traveling through the sky with destination unknown.

The Wizard has been here all along.  That sneaky Maxine!  I am thankful to have finally taken the trip to find her and help her find her voice, her spirit, her soul...HER SELF**


** Are you ready to find your Maxine?  If so please consider joining me at my Leap of Life Retreat...A Women's Wellness Weekend.  Located at Nurture Through Nature in Denmark Maine.  For details email me at annepoirier11@gmail.com

Running to or away?

I looked at the clock...3:11am, great, a whole 8 minutes after I looked the last time.  I climbed out of bed and pulled on my sweat pants, running bra, three layers on top.  I take the walk up the cold wooden stairs, lace up my sneakers and head out the door.  At this point it is automatic.   I am glad it is early, my schedule says 7 miles, I will be able to run longer though....maybe 9 before I have to get to work to teach the boot camp class at 6am.

Running has become my best friend.  I devour books, magazines, training logs.  I am engulfed with the discipline.  I am dedicated, driven, obsessed and addicted.  The feeling is all too familiar.  How did I get here?  Flashbacks of my anorexia years haunt me.  Am I running away from myself? Or am I running to find myself... I knew I needed help.

I was standing in the kitchen with my oldest daughter.  After a semester of tears, depression and anxiety, we had taken her out of high school. Remove her from the atmosphere that was slowly destroying her and taking her spirit.   There it was, the voice, the tone, the terror.  I had heard it many times.  Making me feel sick to my stomach and making me want to disappear.  Only this time it was not directed at me.  It was directed at her.

That was the moment. Fish or cut bait...I filed for divorce the following day.

Scared, frightened, disappointed, ashamed, guilty...out the door I would go, running again...using it to escape.  Masking my emotions, my anger, my hurt.  Day after day...mile after mile...

I was drinking to help me sleep.  Weight was falling off me.  This is awesome I am thinking to myself.   Isn't that what we all want? To be skinnier?  Co-workers and friends expressed thier concern.  I just thought they were jealous because I was thin now...so proud of myself.

3 miles turned into 6-8-10.  My body always in pain.  A glass of wine, or 2 or 3.   There.  Now I feel better.  I close my eyes...sleep,  ahhh...finally.

Day after day, week after week, month after month.  More and more exersice.  I was lost.  I was depressed.  My daughters needed thier mother back.

Asking for help takes courage and strength.  It is not a sign of weakness.  With the love and support of friends, I began to find my way back to myself.  I asked for help.

When you find yourself in a hole,  that either you can't get out of, or maybe dont want to get out of, find the strength to ask for help.  This life is to be lived with joy, purpose, passion and love.  We all have our own unique talents and experiences to bring to each other.  Let your friends and family be blessed with all of you.  Pull yourself out of the hole.  There is always someone who will be willing throw you a rope, but they can't pull you out unless you are ready.

The strength is within all of us...ask and it will be given to you, seek and you shall find...