I wish I knew now, what I knew then.

Sometimes life takes you by surprise.  Suddenly you find yourself somewhere you don’t really want to be, or maybe somewhere you never EVER could have imagined.

Have you ever realized the decisions you made in the past have brought you right her, right now, to this place in your life?

After years of beating myself up, worrying about food, exercise, my body and the number on the scale, I realize it was all for good reason.  It has changed me, an actually has freed me from the chains of my own self-hatred.

Do you ever think to yourself: If I only knew then, what I know now

Have you ever thought about composing a letter to your younger self?  Can you think about how you would share some of the wisdom and experiences from your past? 

This letter can help you realize how much you have grown, how some of the hardest times you have gone through may have contributed in a positive way to your life right now.  Maybe you are stronger, more resilient or wiser.   Maybe you realize you are so much more than the size of your body or a number on the scale.

Kinda like this...

Dear Annie,

This life will get complicated.  It will be hard, frustrating, and confusing at times.  It will be filled with periods of pain and periods of joy.  There may be times when you will want to crawl under the covers and stay in bed, and other times you will find yourself jumping up and down on your bed with pure joy. 

There will be disappointment and failure, accompanied by feelings of sadness, anger, shame or guilt.  During these times, remember this:

·       These moments DO NOT DEFINE YOU

·       These feelings are real, validate them, and know they will pass

·       These are the times when you will learn and grow, gain strength, knowledge, compassion, understanding and resilience

·       These experiences may come again, and you will be better prepared

·       You may look back at these times and nod your head in understanding

·       THIS PERIOD WILL NOT LAST FOREVER

There will also be victories and successes that will be accompanied by feelings of happiness, confidence, warmth or exhilaration.  

During these times remember this:    Make time to CELEBRATE THESE MOMENTS.   

         All too often women move right onto the next big thing, without taking time to celebrate the success

·       Cherish them, write them down, capture them so that you can share the feelings and experiences with others (friends, family, grandchildren)

·       Think about the hard work and determination that gets overlooked in the accomplishment of a success.  Realize that it didn’t “just happen”.  That you made it happen through hard work, dedication and discipline.

·       Know that this will not last forever either, our lives naturally have an ebb and flow to them

The moments and experiences in your life become part of your story, it makes you who you are.  Your own unique, special, one of a kind YOU.

There are a few other tidbits I would like to share with you

·       You can agree to disagree with others
·       Communication is an important skill to continue to work on
·       Stay true to your own values and beliefs
·       Trust your gut
·       Bodies all come in different sizes and shapes
·       Size does not dictate health
·       Food is not the enemy
·       Everyone you meet has a story
·       Surround yourself with people you respect, like to be around and who give you energy
·       Dare to be different-what other people think of you is their business
·       Your career, family, successes, failures or body size do not define who you are
·       Your imperfections make you perfect
·       Develop an internal voice that is kind and compassionate
·       Treat yourself like your own best friend.

Live this life for today, don’t put off doing anything because of your size, weight or thoughts about what other people will think

With much appreciation and love,

Annie

Your turn, write your own letter.  What do you want to tell yourself?  Would you like guidance to find freedom in your body, freedom with food, freedom from you inner critic?  I have been there, I would love to support you in your journey, schedule an EMBRACE YOU breakthrough session today! 

Climbing in and out of the Hole

What is it that causes you the most pain?  Is it a past mistake the continues to haunt you?  Is it a physical ailment that is chronic, and wears you down?  Is it the loss of a loved one that leaves a hole in your heart that cannot be filled... a broken relationship, where your heart has been broken and you cannot seem to find anything that can mend it?  Or, Is it yourself?  The constant beating up of yourself for not doing, being or achieving what you think you should...

Our pain comes from different places....different experiences.  It sits at all kinds of levels that can change minute to minute, day to day.  Some of our pain can be so big...

Imagine a large hole that has been dug into the ground.  It is a place that you go to when you feel pain, hurt, alone, abandoned, sad, frustrated, angry, disappointed, distant, desperate...It can provide extreme relief and comfort.

Everyone’s hole is unique.  Some may be empty...a punishment hole with no way out, it is dark, cold and scary, and at the same time extremely comfortable and welcome. Others may have a hole where they go to get away.  They feel comfortable there, they cannot be hurt by anyone, they cannot make any mistakes here, they can’t say the wrong thing, no one can judge them here. Here they do not have to be someone they are not. They can just sit with themselves...with their sadness, their pain and their brokenness...

I have realized over the past few years that no matter what my pain level is, or has been, there are ALWAYS many examples of greater pain brought to my attention.  It could come in the form of a conversation, a physical interaction, a friend of a friend, the TV, or even a face-book story.

It is in these moments where I step away from myself and step into their pain, their sadness, their loss, their hole.  Within hours of this interaction, I have come out of my own hole willingly, for my pain has been lifted.  To feel the pain of another is a blessing.  It enables us to understand our own pain better... Climb out of our own hole.