A Letter to my Thighs...

I look at the mirror at my thighs. The mini-me inside my head begins her assault; “I hate you, you are so big, why aren’t you thinner? And these pants look horrible!” 

This harsh criticism and judgment is all too familiar.

I stop, pause and take a breath. In this moment I ask this question; what have my thighs ever done to me to cause me to hate them so much?  

They hear my question and respond:

Dear Annie,

That is a good question, why do you hate us so? All we have ever done for you is support you, yet you continue to treat us poorly, call us fat, pinch us and degrade us. We feel a punching bag, Brocken down and bruised.  We don’t understand.

We have loved being strong and stable for you. As a matter of fact over the years we have:

• Played on sports teams
• Carried 4 babies to term
• Climbed numerous trees and mountains
• Jumped lots of waves at the beach
• Ran, skipped and jumped across fields and parking lots
• Helped carry your mom when she broke her hip
• Shopped, cooked and cleaned for your family
• Stood and cheered for your daughters at their games, concerts and plays.

We have loved helping you live your life. 

We would appreciate it if you did not criticize us for what we look like. We always work hard for you and do our best. We want to be appreciated and accepted by you. Your respect is important to us. Can we please be friends?

We just wanted you to know,  

Your stable and grounded thighs

---------------

I am enlightened….

I have relied on this body to live my life. My thighs and my body that I’ve hated for so long, have done so much for me.

Does this sound familiar to you? Do you bash your body every chance you get? Join me in taking some steps to move from hating this body we were given to appreciating it.

It is time to begin to befriend our bodies, show it compassion and kindness… I’ve taken the first step by listening to my thighs.

7 Steps to Becoming Friends With Our Bodies

1. Write one thing that your body has done for you to begin to build this friendship.
2. Build this into a BODY ACCOMPLISHMENT LIST. List ALL of the things your body has done for you. This can include things like hugging a friend, sharing a smile or shivering to keep you warm.
3. Next write a list of what your body CAN do for you today. Place your attentions on the can do's instead of the can't do's. 
4. Pause, take a breath and become aware of your own judgments of yourself, when these thoughts come into your brain, begin to find some kindness with your words.
5. Be mindful of social comparisons and judgments...these will leave you feeling "not good enough"
6. After reflecting on all of the things your body does and can do for you, write a letter to your body or a specific body part that you dislike...AND then write a responds from your body (or body part)
7. Don't spend any more time playing the WHEN I....(lose the weight)...THEN I (will go on that trip) GAME.  Live your life today.  Don't wait any longer

I write an apology...

Dear Thighs,

I cannot believe how horribly I have treated you all these years, after all you have done and continue to do for me. You have enabled me to experience some of my greatest memories… winning a soccer championship, climb trees,  walking down the aisle at my wedding, and rocking my babies to sleep…

You have always grounded me, helped me up when I have fallen and stayed strong. I have hated you merely because you didn’t look a certain way. I am so very sorry. I now realize how much I have come to rely and depend on you to live my life, and I wanted to say thank you. Thank you for always being there for me, so strong, sturdy, dependable and sustainable. 

I appreciate you, and am looking forward to the years to come.  

With Gratitude,

Annie

Finding Balance

Why does it take so long to gain an ounce of self-esteem, and such a short time to destroy it?  One word, one phrase, one criticism is all it takes sometimes to destroy a dream, shatter a passion, obliviate the success.

There has to be a better way.  It is similar to our weight.  It takes hard work, and time to lose weight safely, yet, it seems to take no time at all to gain it..

Balance...Finding balance in body and mind.  I have this bag of others comments, opinions, judgements that I carry with me every day.  The bag gets heavier and heavier, weighing me down.  I am getting tired of carrying it with me all the time.

I also have a beautiful box that I keep in a very special place at home.  It is hidden, for safe keeping.  It contains my successes...my accomplishments...the things I am proud of.  It also holds the compliments that I get here and there...sometimes daily.

You know the ones...the ones you get at work, out with friends, or even at the store.  We roll our eyes(I have that one down) we brush it off, ignore it.  Somehow we have trained ourselves so that we dont even hear it.  If we do happen to hear it, we push it away as if it doesnt exist, feeling as if they must have been talking to someone else.  That couldnt be me, I dont deserve that.

Why dont we decide to carry around our special boxes?  The one that contains pride, happiness, fullfillment, success....vs. the heavy bag that contains disturbing, disappointing and disruptive thoughts.  I do not know if I want to carry that anymore.  It is unwelcome, unwanted, unpleasant and unnessecary.

I am realizing that we have the control of what we decide to carry with us, and what we can decide to leave at home or throw away.

Lets all take a vacation!...a permanent one, and only bring that special box of good thoughts, supportive memories, confidence building successes.  Lets also bring our favorite clothes.  The ones that make you feel good about yourself.  They are comfortable on your body, and fit the way you like.

Lets let go of the heavy box. Unpack those unwanted criticisms, the judgements, the comparisons. Lightening our load, both physically and emotionally. Trying not to get caught up collecting that heavy stuff.  Simplify, release and let go.  Get the balance in your life back. Life is too short to always be so unsure, unsteady and off balance.