Imagine a long day at work, your boss is on your case, your computer is possessed, that problem continues to rear its ugly head, and you get stuck in traffic on the way home, even when you took the short cut!
All you want to do is go home, sit in front of the TV with your carton of ice cream (you may have purchased on your way home), and zone out….because at least you deserve that! You continue to feel frustrated and are now obsessed with the thoughts of ice cream.
Fast forward, 30 minutes, WHAM, you are sitting on the couch, staring at an empty carton filled with shame, guilt, anger and disbelief. You can’t even remember eating it. The feeling in your stomach is all too familiar.
THEN COMES THIS: Your inner critic, that inner mean girl voice (I call her my mini-me)
She begins her assault on you…
“I can’t believe you did this again!”
“You are so stupid”
“You have NO willpower”
“You can’t do anything right”
“You will never lose weight!”
“You are such a failure”
The first step, when you notice this all too familiar voice is to STOP, this assault is not doing anything productive, other than increase stress and decrease your self-esteem. This is where to insert the 5 steps. Yes, 5 steps that focus on finding a way to eating ice cream that feels and tastes good…period.
Let’s rewind and look at another scenario…
Picture this: As soon as you get to work, your boss is on your case, your computer is possessed, that problem continues to rear its ugly head, and you got stuck in traffic on the way home, while taking the short cut.
You can feel your stress level rising as the day progresses. Thoughts of ice cream bombard your head. Your chest and shoulders are tight, your head is pounding and your stomach is in knots…Ice cream…”I want ICE CREAM!” your inner child screams!
Here is when you PAUSE…
11. You close your eyes and take a slow deep breath in and let it out. You do it again and count to 5 as you inhale, pause and exhale slowly and count to 5 again.
22. You keep your eyes closed and picture yourself on a beach, or swinging on a swing, or taking in the view at the top of a mountain, or sitting on a rock by a babbling brook. Your body begins to relax as you visualize this scene. You notice calm and peace flow over your body.
33. Your eyes open and ask yourself “What do I need?” knowing that the ice cream is right there, a short drive away, or in your freezer. AND it will STILL BE THERE in 5 minutes
.
44. You pause, take another deep breath and think…then ask the question again. What is it I need? Am I Bored? Angry? Lonely? Frustrated? Hungry? What might sooth this emotion other than the ice cream?
· A hot shower?
· Paint your nails?
· Call a friend?
· Take a walk?
· Journal your thoughts?
· Listen to your favorite pod cast?
· Dance around the room to your favorite song?
Do any of these things sound appealing?
If SO, then PICK ONE, and when you are done, you THEN ASK THE QUESTION: Do I still want Ice cream? If the answer is yes, go ahead and move to step 5
IF NOT, take another deep breath. Notice if you are hungry. And then Give yourself full permission to have a bowl of ice cream….proceed to step 5
55. The eating of the ice cream!!! Find the prettiest bowl you can, and scoop yourself out some ice cream, you then sit down, light a candle, relax and enjoy. Slowly and simply, savoring every bite, moment to moment (mindfully). An act of mindfulness. Being in the present moment.
A smile crosses your face as you realize you just ate ice cream mindfully and fully present. Something you have never been able to do before and…if you have truly given yourself permission, release any feelings of shame or guilt either, they are not helpful here.
There is a time and space for ice cream in all our lives. Release yourself from the inner critic, maybe invite her down to share some ice cream with you next time.
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