Overheated, Overinflated, Over the hill…Call AAA!

“I think my body has been inhabited by aliens!  I cry at the drop of a hat, my brain has gone on vacation, it feels like I am sleeping in the hot desert one moment and the frozen tundra the next, and I don’t even know what is happening to my stomach”

Does any of this sound familiar? If you are a woman approaching the age of 40, or well into your 70’s you will understand what I am talking about.  The manic and magical years of menopause. 

I have elicited the help of AAA to help us through this.  The AAA attack of menopause

AWARENESS: What the heck is going on

To be aware of what the body goes through when it is approaching and going through menopause

1.       Your moods are unstable. The fluctuation of hormones creates a sea of sorts of your moods.  You may cry at a commercial, get angry at a seemingly innocent comment, snap at your friend for no reason.  This is normal.  Being aware of the highs and lows can take some stress off of beating yourself up for your feelings.

2.       Your brain is in a fog.  You may feel like you can’t remember anything from minute to minute.  You are working diligently on a task, and suddenly, you brain draws a blank.  Normal, take a breath, get a glass of water, or some nourishment, and move forward. 

3.       You throw your blankets off in a hot sweat, only to be freezing cold within minutes.  The influx of hormones creates this unique hot flash or night sweat within your body.  Think of it as a wave of energy that moves through you, instead of the devil that has swept through. 

4.       Your pants don’t fit the way they used too.   As you move through menopause you may find that your body gains weight.  Usually this weight is gained in the belly (thus the “menopot” saying).  Being aware that there are many things going on in your body that elicits this weight gain can help you move through the menopause years with a kinder and more compassionate inner voice.  One that does not beat you up (thus increasing stress levels and cortisol to only encourage further weight gain).  Strengthening this kind and gentle inner voice can be of great benefit to you in the upcoming years. See: Embracing the Roll

ACCEPTANCE: This is a new chapter of life

To be accepting that our bodies are going through normal changes

1.       Accepting the fact that your body may change as you age.  When you wake up and notice that you do not still have the body you had 10 years ago, and decide you are going to “do something about it”, try to remember that dieting or restricting food OR over exercising will only set you up for further weight gain (95% of dieters regain their weight and sometimes more within 3 years) One of the most advantageous things you can do is accept that your body may change as you get older. Note: I am not saying there are not things we can do (see our ammunition tips below)

2.       Realizing that you are in a different stage of life.  That your body and mind both may be driving you crazy right now, however, these are all normal changes that our bodies make.

3.       Acceptance of skin, hair and nail changes.  These are also normal during menopause.  They are also very different for everyone.  What is happening to your friend, may or may not happen to you.  All of it is normal.

AMMUNITION: Be prepared for the change

There are many things that can help to make this transition easier for you and the people around you

1.       Find some movement you enjoy.  Exercise can be helpful in many ways: 

 

• Increase the feel good hormones like endorphins
• Increase self-esteem and confidence
• Decrease depression and anxiety
• Decrease Stress
• Can help with changes in body due to weight gain

      2.       Nourish yourself with foods that feel good AFTER you eat them.  There can be  some changes in the way your body digests specific foods as you age.  Be aware and pay attention to the way that foods feel after.

3.       Engage in self-care strategies.  Taking care of yourself is extremely important.  It can cut down on stress levels (and cortisol).  Without self-care, you tend to end up pouring out of an empty cup.  Take time to fill yourself back up.   Self-Care looks different for everyone.  What relaxes you?  Here are a few suggestions

a.       Take a walk with a friend or an animal friend

                    b.       Take a bath or shower
                    c.       Get a message, manicure or pedicure
                    d.       Carve out time to read a good book
                    e.       Color, draw, journal or do a crossword
                    f.        Dance or listen to music
                    g.       Find a new hobby or craft
                    h.       Watch a movie
                    i.         Pray

4.       Connect with Nature, nature can decrease stress levels, increase creativity, belonging and self-confidence.

                           a.       Take walks

                           b.       Garden

                           c.      Make a snowman

                           d.       Eat outside or have a picnic when you can

5.       SLEEP.   Sleep is essential to living a full life.  Some tips to get a restful sleep include

a.       Having a relaxation routine before bed.  This could include some light stretching, a cup of tea, journaling, prayer or some soft music

                    b.       Sleep in a dark and cool room
                    c.       Cut off screen time at least 1 hour before bed
                    d.       Keep your phone in another room
                    e.       Avoid drinking caffeine 6 hours before bed
                    f.        Hot flashes and night sweats can interrupt sleep.  Everyone will experience them a                             little differently.  Cutting down on caffiene, spicy foods and alcohol can help

                                                              

6.       Develop a kinder more self-compassionate voice.  As changes occur in your body and mind, know that these changes are normal.  Be kind and gentle to yourself as you move forward.

When you do not recognize yourself one day when you wake up…like you have been abducted by the aliens of menopause, call AAA.  Being aware of what is happening can be the first step in accepting that you are headed into a new chapter of your life.  Utilize some of this ammunition and move into this amazing chapter with more energy and a giant size cup full of self-care and self-compassion.  Intuitive Eating and Body Image Coaching can help.  Annepoirier11@gmail.com

The Dieting Blame Game

I must be close to winning this game I have been playing for 4 decades.  

I have blamed myself for failure to lose, failure to succeed, failure to sustain.  

I have blamed the diets I have tried...saying they don't work. 

I have blamed the exercise trends for not producing the results they promise...

Blame this, Blame that, Blame me, Blame you...

I have deluded myself that it is someone else fault, my fault.  I don't have enough will power.  I am not strong enough, disciplined enough...bla bla bla...

In actuality...Diets are just specific (usually restrictive) food plans and Exercise fads are just alternative ways to move your body.

What works for your body, and your life, will not necessarily work with mine.  I am different.  You are different.  

The blame does not belong on you, or me, or the diet or the exercise plan. 

weight watchers, jenny craig, opti-fast and zone
deal-a-meal, master cleanse, south beach and clean
paleo, cabbage soup, low fat and OA
scarsdale, dexatrim, gluten free and effedra.

jazzercise, jane fonda, richard simmons and suzanne summers
buns of steal, cross fit, tabata and johnny G
insanity, bootcamp, marathons and HIIT
step, slide, cycle and barre
fitbits, heart rates, target zones and more

Blaming this, Blaming that..
all comes down to this fear of FAT

FAT: Essential Food Nutrient.  Important for structural and metabolic functions
FAT serves as a source of energy in the body.  It serves as a protection mechanism by providing padding around essential organs, and provides insulation from the heat and cold
FAT produces an important hormone (leptin) to help us with satiety

Since when did it become an adjective?  A word that is associated with lazy, ugly, unmotivated, undisciplined, sloppy, unmotivated....

Why have we spent years blaming ourselves for not succeeding as we follow a plan that was not designed for us?

This Blame Game cannot be won by anyone...

It is time to begin to trust YOURSELF...your hunger, your fullness, your internal drive to move your body in a way that feels good to YOU.

Your body is smarter than you think. It knows what it needs, if you just start to listen.

Start this year out by taking responsibility of your choices, and release the blame. 

It is time to let go of the should do's  and the have to's, or the newest diet or exercise trend you see on Facebook or TV. 

You are worthy of eating food, for it will provide you with energy and pleasure
You are worthy of JOY-ful movement, for it will feel good in your body and soul.

Stop playing the blame game and decide to choose what works for you, trust in yourself.  

Need direction?  I can help...Intuitive Eating Coaching releases the blame.  
It is a weigh to finding peace with food and body.  Freedom of the guilt, shame and blame.  annepoirier11@gmail.com  

20% MORE

I see the apple on the table, I hear my stomach growl, I start to calculate as the numbers tick away in my head...60+80=140+50=190+10+120= 410...no, too much, just walk away...

I walk up the stairs, thinking of what I had done...20 minutes of core work, step class, 30 minutes of legs...not enough, I should go for a run...

My thoughts continue...

The numbers of calories burned, exercise classes taught or taken, miles run or walked

Calories consumed, calories NOT consumed, points, fat and carb grams counted, Adding and Subtracting; Plotting and Planning 

How much longer do I need to stay on this stair master?  What should my workout look like tomorrow? the day after that? next week?

What will the scale say when I step on it tomorrow?  Have I worked hard enough? Eaten too much?

What will the ALL MIGHTY SCALE say about my worthiness tomorrow?

Minute after minute, day after day, year after year...from 10 years old until almost 50...Over 95% of my thoughts every day tick away thinking about how I can effect the number on the scale.

4 DECADES of my life, I have spent all of my time counting and calculating, shaming and blaming, pushing and pulling. 

I am sad, frustrated, angry and depressed as I come to this realization....Why have I wasted so much time with this non-sense?  

I sit and cry,  I walk and cry, I curl up in a ball and cry as I move through this strange GRIEVING process.  

So many should haves, why didn't I's, your so stupid's...I morn the loss of so many years of my life...until...Exhaustion sets in, I am tired and all dried up from crying.  

It is time to "fish or cut bait" as my dad would say..."shit or get off the pot" my uncle would say...

Stagnation and depression set in...until...

I think about my daughters, how much I love them, how much I want to see them grow, learn, live and love.  

FINALLY, I get it...I need more time...more time in my brain to live here in this world, to live here today...

It becomes apparent that it is time to THROW AWAY:

• The calorie counter in my brain
• The scale on the bathroom floor
• The fit-bit "rewards"
• The class schedule
• The "map my run" app

Time to gain back TIME:

• Time to read and write
• Time to share time with friends and family
• Time to reconnect with my body
• Time to think about what used to bring me joy
• Time to make a difference

This was me only 4 years ago, and every year since then, I have opened up more space in my head, 20%, 30%, 40% more time to focus on the life I am living.  Less and less time spent on obsessing and calculating.

This valentines day, give yourself the gift of TIME, time to enjoy the life you are living TODAY, in the body that you have TODAY, in the shape that you are in TODAY, at the weight your body is TODAY.  

This is my wish for you...It is SO worth it.

I am here for support and guidance.  

My new normal

I overheard a woman at the gym the other day(an attractive and fit woman in my eyes) say that on January 1st, she was going to "Reclaim her Fit Body".

It got me thinking...what does that mean?  What defines a "Fit Body"?  I used to measure my own fitness with thinness, low body fat levels and perfect symmetry.  The lower the body fat, the more fit I was...

I look at myself now and I know I have an average amount of body fat, not too low, not too high. Not that long ago I would have been describing myself as "Out of Shape" and "Fat" because I am not as "thin" as I have been in the past.  I now know that is not true.  My body can do almost anything I ask of it...from carrying heavy boxes and picking up children, to running up and down stairs or down the street.

How do you define being fit?  Is it the amount of weight you can lift?  How many pushup or squats you can do?  How many miles you can run?  How many days you can cleanse or eat "Clean"?

I have struggled my whole life with accepting the body I was blessed with. I have tried many methods to either CHANGE IT or HIDE IT. (and still try to hide it on occasion).

The Acceptance of What Is...This is a hard concept for many.  I am learning to accept what is....still knowing I can change, learn and grow within certain areas if I so choose AND/or I can accept what is.

For Example...

I can accept my body as it is or I can try to lose weight and try to lower my body fat level, by going on a "diet".   This would make me "fitter" right?   

This is what I know from experience...after experience ...after experience...

It would make me:

1. Feel Deprived
2. Feel Punished-Like I am not good enough
3. Feel Weak, Tired, Lethargic
4. Be Emotional 
5. Be Short Tempered
6. Feel Depressed
7. Look critically at myself more in the mirror (increased body checking)
8. Be obsessive about my exercise and calorie intake
9. Withdraw from hanging out, talking or just being with friends
10. Stress out over being with family and withdraw

After a while of this "Diet"  I would begin to hear compliments...things like "Wow, you look great, have you lost weight? How did you do it?"

These feel good right?  Until they make you think and overanalyze them and say to yourself: "Wow, I must have gotten really fat" (THIS IS NOT QUITE THE FEELING I WAS LOOKING FOR!)

If I decide to accept my body and Reclaim MYSELF:

 

It would make me:

1. Feel Empowered
2. Allow me to move and exercise how and when I want
3. Have all the energy I need to do whatever I want to do 
4. Enjoy all foods with friends, family or alone
5. Not expect compliments from others (I used to thrive on this, it gave me a sense of accomplishment and pride and filled my EGO)
6. Understand and Empathize with the struggles of others
7. Feel Free from expectation
8. Be free from mirrors, scales, calories
9. Feel free to BE ME

I am 53 years old.  I have worked with clients from 18-94.  Some of them enjoy Christmas cookies and look forward to dinners out with friends, while others worry about fitting into their clothes of 30+ years ago and how many calories are "In that dessert"...

I want to grow older enjoying walks, drumming, dancing, twirling and moving my body with a childlike joy...
 

I want to enjoy a glass of wine, an ice cream cone, nachos, french fries and chocolate chip cookies.

I want to feel empowered and strong following my own rules, my own standards and be OK with it.

I need NOT "Reclaim my Fit Body" of yester-year...

My body IS STRONG, my mind IS FUELED, and I am now going to have leftover Chinese food for Breakfast...

It was 2 years ago, I started up my blog...    This is the reason...Repost from 2014

Just the way I am!

I am 12 years old wearing only a pair of underwear. My mother is making me stand in front of a mirror.  I am mortified.

She asks me what I see...I roll my eyes, pinch the skin on my belly and say ,"I see fat,fat and more fat...  Happy?"

She sees frail and fragile, and hears the sarcasm in my voice.  She is beyond  frightened.

We are both looking at the same thing...my almost naked body, yet we see completely different things, have completely different emotions and are thinking completely different thoughts

I am feeling awkward, angry, embarrassed and mixed up, while my mom is feeling terrified and troubled.  She has been watching me slowly disappear in front of her eyes over the past 6 months and is unsure of where to turn next.

Anorexia Nervosa was the diagnosis.  It was virtually unknown to most 1975, it wasnt until 1983 when Karen Carpenter died from her anorexia, that people recognised the diagnosis.  

It took 3 years of counseling, a month of hopitilization and lots of tears shed before the dinner table in the Poirier household was not a war zone.

Food and exercise have been the coach and the quarterback throughout my life. They dictated actions, decisions and choices.  Calories counted non stop, exercise logged and analyzed, scale down=worthy and happy, scale up=depressed and ugly. 

 It has been only over the last few years that I have finally begun to accepted and appreciated what my body has done for me.

 It can throw like a boy, kick a soccer ball down field, fight a fire, climb and repelled off a ferris wheel, run a marathon or 2, deliver babies, naturally and  via c-section, it can climb mountains and swim in the ocean....It can hug, smile, laugh and cry...

 
My body has done amazing things...why have I hated it so much and treated it so poorly?  It is time for me to begin to respect and honor my body, JUST THE WAY IT IS!

Your Story

To know your purpose and then find the path that leads you there is my hope.  The questions I ask myself are:  Why am I here?  Why was I born?  What am I supposed to be doing with this life I have been given?  

Our purpose is more than any of us think.  It is an understanding that we might need to stop trying so hard, stop asking the questions, being ok not knowing what it is.  Our place on this earth is to Trust...To trust that our path is out there waiting for us to get out of our own way.

I believe that if we can share our bliss...our enthusiasm, our love, our light; of which comes from our talents. It doesn’t  matter how insignificant, or irrelevant we may think these talents are-     we own them and they are OURS.  They are ours to share with others.  It could be the way you tell a joke, the way your laughter is contagious, the way you tell(or write) a story, the way you draw an elephant or flower, the way you do a jumping jack, navigate your computer, thread a needle....

Living our lives with joy, happiness, and laughter...that is the path we are to follow...

Not the path our parents wanted us to pursue, not the path your husband or wife wants you to follow, not the one our teachers, our bosses, or society want us to go after...

We have lived our lives believing that we should be successful, make a lot of money, raise a happy family, hold down a “good” job, be a wonderful friend, be fit, healthy, attractive, thin and of course happy...

All these are thoughts and beliefs that have been made into stories...stories that we have told ourselves for years, and stories that we have been bombarded with through society, and the people that surround us.

It is time to release all these stories, for they are not yours.  It is time to write your own story, pave your own path.  What does this fresh new story of your life look like?

My story includes helping others find their way out of pain, out of struggle, out of the story they live in where they don’t belong, are not enough,  or don’t believe in themselves...

It is your turn to begin to pave a path where beauty surrounds you, where your mini me is in awe of your strength, where your mind is quiet, and your body is at peace with itself.  Breath the fresh air, trust in yourself, trust in your story, trust in your life...trust the amazing and overwhelming beauty that is within you...Follow the paved path and trust...

Pancakes and the smell of Bacon

As I sit here on a rock looking out onto Lake Winnipesaukee in NH, I realize that I am drawn to water, I always have been...as a kid, I would spend hours swimming at Hoods Pond in Topsfield in the summer.  

My favorite memories are of early Sunday Morning breakfasts.  We would arrive, the family and usually an extra kid or two, at about 7am.  No one was there,it was still, quiet, peaceful. I would break the silence almost immediately as I ran into the glass like water with a splash. Watching the ripples of my entry stream outward 360 degrees around me, smiling the whole time.

The freedom of the water, the dolphin dives down and up over and over again, holding my breath and swimming as far as I could from one dock to the other and back, cannon balls and head first dives off the raft, arms cutting through the smooth water surface in a rhythmical fashion.  

My father would call me in for breakfast, it would already be after 9.  Where did the time go?  I could smell the bacon as soon as I emerged from the water.  MMM...bacon, eggs and pancakes with syrup cooked on the old Colman Grill.  I would cover up in my Steelers (yes, at the time...) sweatshirt and towel, hungry and ready to eat.  The food tasted so good.  There was no thought to how many calories I was eating, how many carbs where in the pancakes, how much exercise I would have to do to burn it all off, what had I eaten the night before.

It was so simple then.  I moved, played, kicked and swam for the joy of it.  I ate when my stomach asked for food...and the food tasted so good.  There was no guilt attached...

By the age of 11 I was dieting, doing numerous sit-ups in my room.  I remember it distinctly the proud moment I left the dinner table in such control...I marched upstairs and did 20 sit-ups, then 20 more, then of course another 10 to round it out to 50....little did I know that by the end of that month I would be multiplying that 50 by 10...

I lost weight, I was always cold, I covered myself in layers, hid myself...Hoods Pond became a place dreaded, it was to cold, I would sit in my oversized sweatshirt and watch others swim, worried about my body, thinking about eating pancakes and bacon, repulsed by my own thoughts.

Decades of overthinking food choices, built a career around moving (that way I could always exercise) that gave me the freedomto eat.  Deep built in messages to eat, you have to eat, why don't you just eat, your so stubborn, its not hard, what are you stupid?  

To this day I get a physical reaction to pancakes(one path in my brain saying too many carbs, and another one saying WOOHOOO Pancakes...)

My eyes begin to tear up...wishing for the innocence of the past, when food tasted so good and had no underlying meaning, and swimming was joyful, not calorie burning exercise where I get too cold.